bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
