Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
