Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
