Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
