talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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