i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
