we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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