You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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