Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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