um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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