She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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