Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
