I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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