Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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