I think scott just propositioned me for sex
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
