yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
drinking out of a sandbucket again
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
