Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You're so nebulous sometimes
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
