So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
