I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
