Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Can I color on your dick again?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
