Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
