I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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