hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
