wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
