you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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