By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
