Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
