I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
false alarm. still invincible.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize