respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
