I puked a lego.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
