he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
