Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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