at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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