Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i just made my gag reflex go away.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
