i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
