So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
