Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
