I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
