i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
