So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
