I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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