3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
