i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
