am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
