she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
