this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
