so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
