If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
