Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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