no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
sex in a hospital.. check
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
